I can't get Emma to stop crying. I've tried everything, from holding and rocking her to singing her lullabies, but nothing seems to work. Emma simply isn't responding to me. Patrick thinks I'm being too hard on myself, but it's obvious that our daughter favors her dad. Every time he holds her, she's happy and smiling. As soon as he leaves, she's crying again. Patrick insists it's just beginner's luck, but what if she truly prefers her father's touch?
It’s been a long night with Emma and I’m exhausted. She howled endlessly for hours and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I’m not complaining, but I had no idea a baby could cry this much. I really don’t know how I’m going to survive the next three months. Luckily, Patrick is here to help with feedings and diaper changes. He’s taken an active role in caring for Emma and they already seem to be bonding. Patrick is a great dad and he has a knack for soothing our daughter. Now if only I could get Emma to stop fussing, I’d feel like a good parent, too.
I get to go home today and start my new life as a mom. After nine months of preparation, I can’t believe it’s finally here. All of a sudden, I have an amazing responsibility to this tiny person who is completely dependent on me. While it’s one thing to care for Emma when I’m under the watchful eye of Epiphany, it’s going to be an entirely different experience once Patrick and I are on our own. Poor Emma is simply going to have to be patient with us until we’re able to figure out everything she needs. Right now this all seems a little overwhelming, but I’m hoping things get easier with time. After all, Emma is just a baby, so how difficult can taking care of her really be?
I’m going stir crazy being kept in this hospital for observation, so I asked Matt to bring me a laptop. I’m visiting all the newborn baby sites, researching every little thing that Emma does. I had no idea I could love someone as much as I love her. She brings new meaning to my life and I can’t bear to think about what could’ve happened if things had turned out for the worst. I’m so grateful to Patrick for not letting me give up. Although we didn’t get married, our wedding can always be rescheduled and Emma will be there to help us celebrate. Neither Patrick nor I can imagine our lives without Emma now, and we both agree that she truly is our little miracle.
With my dad still sick with cancer, I didn’t feel comfortable asking him to come to my wedding, so I thought Uncle Mac could walk me down the aisle. As much as I love my dad, Uncle Mac was my one constant growing up and I think he deserves this honor. I always imagined both men giving me away, but it’s somewhat fitting that Uncle Mac be the one since he’s blessed my life and made it better. Uncle Mac sacrificed everything to raise me and he’s the best father I could’ve ever asked for. I’m very fortunate to have two dads who love me, but it just wouldn’t feel right without Uncle Mac by my side.
